Best Methods to Build Rapport – Tony Robbins
“Rapport is power. – Tony Robbins”
Anything you want to achieve, learn, master, experience there is someone out there that has the life experience, the network, the capital, or something you need in order to achieve it. They are not going to give you what you want and need until you give them what they want and need. You won’t find out what they want and need until your first get in a relationship of rapport.
What is a relationship of rapport?
Total responsiveness between 2 people. The connection or spark that happens in certain communications and relationships.
Most people only make rapport with people like themselves and loose out with everyone else which means that they have a limited world
Challenge: Go to a restaurant and build rapport with 5 random people
How to do it?
First engage in conversation by asking questions. Questions don’t build rapport but they are a tool we use to dig for something. Find something in common. People like people who are like themselves or are like the person they wish to become. Rapport is created with feeling of commonality. When you feel you have something in common with someone there’s a spark. 7% of our communication is done with words the rest is done with tonality and body language.
Mirroring and Matching
This happens when you becoming like the person you are communicating with. Matching body language, volume / tone of voice. What ever they put out send the same message back. Style is more important than substance initially but without substance the relationship won’t last.
Body language – You can match posture, gesture, eye contact, and breathing.
Voice – If you mirror someone’s tonality of voice they will connect with you and not even know city talkers, people who speak slow think fast talking people are untrustworthy.Other ways of matching voice are volume of voice and use the same terminology they use.
Proximity – Space needed to feel comfortable. This is different for everyone. Look at body language to make sure you are at the right proximity. If they tighten up, move sideways,or turn away from you this means they feel uncomfortable.
Touch – You can build more rapport by touching someone then anything you could ever say. Match handshake. Pats on the back or shoulder. Be careful with this. Don’t want to freak people out by being too touchy feely.
Don’t duplicate someone’s accent – If you do this wrong you will destroy any chance of building rapport.
You don’t have to mirror everything someone does to have rapport. You can build it with just matching a few things like leg position and tone of voice.